Monday, May 24, 2010
Downing Words
"Ang sakit sakit pala lalo na kapag nanggaling sa inyo ang mga salitang iyan." An excerpt from the latest Teleserye in Kapamilya "Rosalka" which definitely struck me in the heart.
Sometimes it's a bit tiring already to make yourself worthy in their eye. Proving yourself to be good but then it would turn out as a failure. Indeed we must learn with these failure to be able to succeed but what if these failures just keeps on coming that it already dug your grave? Maybe this is how money truly affects the attitude of every person here on earth. It's just so hard to accept that proving your worth nowadays should always be seen PHYSICALLY. I just don't understand that having a car would mean that I can already stand on my own. They didn't even consider how I did grow as a man and learn life from the path I'm taking right now. "If only you know what's really going on!" is all I can say anytime and uttered just deep inside me. How would they see my improvement in different crafts if they don't even want to come or see it? It's also tiring to invite somebody who would only answer: "What can we get there if we're gonna watch that? Can we earn something from it?" They just see everything I do as worthless pieces and yet for me I consider it a treasure. I do feel like a beggar right now treasuring the bits of left overs that can be seen on the street, coins that is earned in every passers by yet other people see it as a trash.
It's also hard to keep everything within me. The persons I thought can help me turned to be another burden. Instead of using motivations to gain self-esteem again, downing words are being received from them. They would label you rebellious in what you're doing yet they don't even know what I'm truly seeking. Being too judgmental makes it even worse. If only I can say to them: "I'm looking for somebody who could really help me with the things I'm going through and I don't think that is a rebellious act. I'm seeking true happiness which you fail to give me. Physical things can't be considered as true happiness. They are just part of it!" A single statement is what I truly seek which I still don't hear from you and running the pessimistic blood you've made me obtain makes me think that I will not hear it forever.
Sometimes it's a bit tiring already to make yourself worthy in their eye. Proving yourself to be good but then it would turn out as a failure. Indeed we must learn with these failure to be able to succeed but what if these failures just keeps on coming that it already dug your grave? Maybe this is how money truly affects the attitude of every person here on earth. It's just so hard to accept that proving your worth nowadays should always be seen PHYSICALLY. I just don't understand that having a car would mean that I can already stand on my own. They didn't even consider how I did grow as a man and learn life from the path I'm taking right now. "If only you know what's really going on!" is all I can say anytime and uttered just deep inside me. How would they see my improvement in different crafts if they don't even want to come or see it? It's also tiring to invite somebody who would only answer: "What can we get there if we're gonna watch that? Can we earn something from it?" They just see everything I do as worthless pieces and yet for me I consider it a treasure. I do feel like a beggar right now treasuring the bits of left overs that can be seen on the street, coins that is earned in every passers by yet other people see it as a trash.
It's also hard to keep everything within me. The persons I thought can help me turned to be another burden. Instead of using motivations to gain self-esteem again, downing words are being received from them. They would label you rebellious in what you're doing yet they don't even know what I'm truly seeking. Being too judgmental makes it even worse. If only I can say to them: "I'm looking for somebody who could really help me with the things I'm going through and I don't think that is a rebellious act. I'm seeking true happiness which you fail to give me. Physical things can't be considered as true happiness. They are just part of it!" A single statement is what I truly seek which I still don't hear from you and running the pessimistic blood you've made me obtain makes me think that I will not hear it forever.
«GINPAO»
5/24/2010
